Recovering From the Ashes
by Booters7777777
Summary: Peeta and Katniss try to grow together after the war, but how will things turn out when Katniss is obsessed with killing herself because of her sins?
1. Chapter 1

Tonight the nightmares are worse than normal.

They are always very bad, but tonight almost everyone I have known has come to taunt me. My Father and Prim, dead with my own arrows, and my mother weeping over them and cursing me. Gale, smiling at what my life has now become because he refused to shoot me after I killed Coin. Glimmer, with her swollen face, tacking me and allowing Clove to finish the knife job she started. All these people torment me as I sleep. And I do not blame them.

Let's just say, since my return to District 12, my life (if you can call this living) has not been great. I know that Peeta has returned, and is doing much better. I have no idea about Haymitch, only that he is back to drinking and is raising geese to support himself. Sometimes people come and try to help me out of my depression, but it almost never works. I don't talk much anymore. Why should I? The only people I cared about, or who cared about me, are dead or gone. Peeta doesn't count anymore. I doubt me cares about me anymore.

I'm thinner then I have ever been these days. My skin graphs are dead and dry, and I am often tired, even though I sleep all the time. I don't even attempt to take my meds, and I know no one really cares. Doctors on government pay roll once stopped by, but I got enough energy to lock myself in my room until they left. They left Greasy Sae some pills to help me, but I crushed them instead. Crushing them reminded me of that soldier crushing the Nightlock. I wish Peeta had just let me take it and let me die.

I wake up in a pool of sweat. I know I've been screaming, because I always do during nightmares. My bed is large and cold. Not to mention lonely. The moon lights up Victor's Village, making Peeta's house bright with moonlight. Suddenly, I see his lights flick on and see him come to the window. He looks very healthy, although I'm too far away to see his eyes. His hair, though, is too long and is in a tangled mop on his head.

I don't know why, but I have the sudden urge to go to the window… and because I don't think now days, I do. He lifts his head and looks towards my house. I don't know if he can see me, but I feel like he is staring right at me. And for once, I don't look away.

Thanks for reading chapter one! Please comment or message me, because I have a hard time continuing to write when I do not have any support. Any errors, comment those too, because I am far from perfect with spelling and grammar. I do not own the Hunger Games, just these little stories, thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Katniss's POV

For the first time in a long time, I slept without any nightmares. I guess seeing Peeta really helped me last night. Not only did it show me how much I miss him, but how bad of shape I am in. Not that I care. What right do I have to be in good shape? Absolutely none.

The morning air comes through an open window, which I do not remember opening. Its warm outside, but I must be really fragile because it sends a chill through me. I try to get up, but my body won't allow it, so I just pull the covers closer around me like a cocoon and allow my mind to wander. Of course, I think about Peeta. How much I owe him. How many times he has saved my life. And how much I wish he hadn't.

Somewhere when I'm in-between the memories of his capture and his return, I hear the familiar click of my front door opening followed by the banging of pots and pans. I kind of feel bad for Sae. I know she cares about me, and I know how much it pains her to see me getting worse and worse. But… I don't care enough to get better. Another reason of how selfish I am.

I must have drifted off to sleep; because before I know it there she is, carrying a tray of milk, scrambled eggs, and some very tiny pieces of ham. Its sill odd to see her carrying around plated of food, but hopefully I won't be here long enough to get used to it.

Peeta's POV

I saw her last night. I don't know if she saw me, but I saw her. And she looked like crap. I don't know what I was expecting when I came back here from 13, but it was not this. I think I was expecting some mix between my old visions of her, mixed with a tinge of grief, or something like that. Not this fragile little being.

I've been paying enough attention to her to know what kind of shape she is in. She doesn't leave the house. She has nightmares every night and sleeps a lot, but she always looks tired. She doesn't check her mail. She doesn't answer the phone. She doesn't take her meds. And from what I have gathered from Greasy Sae, she nearly never eats. She is like a walking corpse.

Unlike her, I have been getting a lot better. I still have the nightmares, but I have gained enough of my life back to never get those attacks back again. I could never have hoped for better. And though it sounds selfish, I am glad I got better before she did, because she looks like she could use all the help she could get.

I bake. I paint. I garden and help rebuild the town. Sometimes the grief is too much to bear and I have to go back to my old ways, but I feel almost exactly like the old me used to. So when I saw Sae go through Katniss's door this morning, I decided to follow her.

Ugh oh! Looks like Katniss is in for a shock when she realizes who is in her house! Next update should be tomorrow. Thanks for reading. Comment and message, be sure to follow me! I do not own the Hunger Games.


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